Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
