don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
