time to smoke my breakfast
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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