I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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