when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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