you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
