My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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