this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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