The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
