i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
