May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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