sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
