While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
