i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
