Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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