i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm at about main and main street
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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