after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
