taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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