"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
