And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
