I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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