Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
