Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
dude. I can hear the air.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
