Ambien. No doubt about it.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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