I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You dont lie about slip and slides
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
