on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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