these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
