he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize