just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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