Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
