the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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