I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
