Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
