it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
