Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize