This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
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You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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