yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
