oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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