We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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