pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
