just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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