Texts From Last Night

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?

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  (662): Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call? http://tfl.nu/dgsg
  Replies (6) Good night (1153) Bad night (490)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.

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  (208): I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to. http://tfl.nu/m80m
  Replies (24) Good night (2230) Bad night (612)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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  (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq
  Replies (111) Good night (46689) Bad night (2743)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...

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  (719): I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel... http://tfl.nu/j6ej
  Replies (13) Good night (2591) Bad night (596)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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  (917): Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist. http://tfl.nu/5y9j
  Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (1923)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses

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  (801): I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses http://tfl.nu/98sm
  Replies (10) Good night (2656) Bad night (875)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.

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  (716): You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy. http://tfl.nu/mzkt
  Replies (9) Good night (3129) Bad night (1017)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  oh. my. god. yes.

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  (360): i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life. (1-360): oh. my. god. yes. http://tfl.nu/jrnd
  Replies (14) Good night (5851) Bad night (1478)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink

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  (630): Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink http://tfl.nu/oigr
  Replies (19) Good night (3996) Bad night (1084)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

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  (513): She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste' http://tfl.nu/jrl8
  Replies (11) Good night (1931) Bad night (544)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays

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  (307): I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays http://tfl.nu/bo0c
  Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (527)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.

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  (416): Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes. http://tfl.nu/v9h7
  Replies (1) Good night (786) Bad night (317)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.

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  (305): No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen. http://tfl.nu/b2oj
  Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (247)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.

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  (302): I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/l6mk
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (238)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier

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  (207): i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier http://tfl.nu/yoel
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (256)

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