Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.