Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  so let's talk penis.

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  (951): so let's talk penis. http://tfl.nu/oygv
  Replies (16) Good night (4663) Bad night (803)
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  (818): View more from California

  So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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  (818): So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice http://tfl.nu/dh5p
  Replies (94) Good night (9174) Bad night (1002)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

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  (954): I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa http://tfl.nu/4mlw
  Replies (79) Good night (14337) Bad night (1142)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.

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  (602): Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter. http://tfl.nu/60s7
  Replies (17) Good night (1263) Bad night (4883)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table

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  (773): i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table http://tfl.nu/1eyi
  Replies (5) Good night (2799) Bad night (1646)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

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  (773): What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this. http://tfl.nu/0oyt
  Replies (12) Good night (2363) Bad night (1041)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.

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  (937): The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it. http://tfl.nu/hbg0
  Replies (9) Good night (2606) Bad night (971)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?

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  (248): Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling? http://tfl.nu/8zdi
  Replies (2) Good night (1578) Bad night (761)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.

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  (309): Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back. http://tfl.nu/c0o1
  Replies (5) Good night (1206) Bad night (560)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

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  (845): I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/wul6
  Replies (6) Good night (956) Bad night (441)
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  (315): View more from New York

  we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back

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  (315): we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back http://tfl.nu/uot7
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (896)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?

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  (206): If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on? http://tfl.nu/dsww
  Replies (1) Good night (384) Bad night (589)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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  (225): I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life http://tfl.nu/dl7i
  Replies (1) Good night (930) Bad night (366)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy

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  (740): The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0 (1-740): If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it (740): Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy http://tfl.nu/hs5w
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (351)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.

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  (229): Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings. http://tfl.nu/e8bt
  Replies (1) Good night (335) Bad night (175)

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