Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril

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25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.

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(804): View more from Virginia

They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.

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(213): View more from California

Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend

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