Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?

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  (248): Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back? http://tfl.nu/so4j
  Replies (10) Good night (865) Bad night (1572)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me

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  (616): I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me http://tfl.nu/7pn8
  Replies (8) Good night (2838) Bad night (934)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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  (407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine http://tfl.nu/6feu
  Replies (32) Good night (3629) Bad night (1646)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...

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  (417): i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was... http://tfl.nu/mlza
  Replies (82) Good night (9079) Bad night (2496)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good

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  (217): just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good http://tfl.nu/mlgi
  Replies (6) Good night (4698) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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  (917): On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests http://tfl.nu/0vji
  Replies (7) Good night (3231) Bad night (1963)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.

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  (440): By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER. http://tfl.nu/qy49
  Replies (10) Good night (2025) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.

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  (250): I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk. http://tfl.nu/hrak
  Replies (4) Good night (3418) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.

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  (608): Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer. http://tfl.nu/9xrq
  Replies (2) Good night (1375) Bad night (683)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?

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  (+44): You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother? http://tfl.nu/wexu
  Replies (6) Good night (1280) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops

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  (610): yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops http://tfl.nu/nsjn
  Replies (5) Good night (748) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

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  (908): I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game. http://tfl.nu/k79m
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running

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  (775): What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running http://tfl.nu/dwtn
  Replies (7) Good night (526) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying

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  (206): If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying http://tfl.nu/3uun
  Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.

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  (410): Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win. http://tfl.nu/2tho
  Replies (11) Good night (1257) Bad night (347)

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