she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..