FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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