whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
