Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
