Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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