What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
sex in a hospital.. check
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
