Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
