a queef is a wish your heart makes.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she peed on how many people?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize