There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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