I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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