I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
