Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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