Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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