They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
