don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
