he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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