Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
