Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
