he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
