Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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