oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
