we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
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and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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